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Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,
the moment you've all been waiting for.
In this corner: weighing 165 pounds,
the undisputed, most unpretentious wine guy in the world:
what is this?
Eminem and Dr. Dre had been absent from the rap scene for too long.
When "Crack a Bottle" was first leaked online we immediately knew
it had to be about drinking some good wine.
After hearing the song, we (and most fans it seems) were less than impressed.
We at SuppleWine took it upon ourselves to produce "Crack a Bottle"
the way it was meant to be. Wine industry: you've been warned.
So crack a bottle, pour it, sip and swallow.
Uh-oh, uh-oh, bitches sippin' on my Merlot.
Now where's the Riedel? Who's got the Riedel? I know there's
just too many good wines and there's really not that many of us.
Sip on Andre?
I sure can't; gives me pangs of disgust.
Drink if you must.
Your head will throb as if you got hit by trucks.
It's not from the alcohol, but more the cheap sugar rush.
Want a buzz? Chug fermented juice from out of oak butts.
It disgusts me to see the game the way that it looks.
It's a must I redeem wine's name and haters get mushed.
Ladies blush. Man they love me when I twist off a cap,
fill the cup, flood the club with bubbles flowing like mad.
Now picture us: it's ridiculous you curse at the thought,
'cuz when I sip and have to spit you cry for Cabernet lost.
If I could blind the booze as perfect perfumed wine every time,
every red, every white, from simple grapes on the vine;
it's called oenology. The expert gents have entered the room.
I venture to say we're the center of attention it's true.
Not to mention back with a fierce thirst so here's the symbol
of the site: screw it. The Champagne's chilled, so let's go.
They see that row tractor go by, they're like, "Oh my!"
You ain't got to tell me why you're drunk 'cuz I know why.
I dip through on my eight-five F the John Deere way.
Napa's rich, they're all one batch, cater to RP.
But hey, what else can I say? I love the Bay.
All tilling, cloning, planting on schist and rocky clay.
And prepping the vines for when spring returns.
Watch the vineyards for frost, then bud break begins.
I'll be damned. More fungus sprouting up again.
Hiring aliens is not a fable;
they come from down south in the Baja or mainland Mexico,
the hell if I know.
I pay them really cheap that's final.
Derision, derision. Vineyard looks like precision excision.
If they crow, I keep peace like Draco.
Just let the wine flow - keep tourists away from the vines though.
It's bottle after bottle.
The money ain't a thing when you party with me.
I drink Verdejo: it's simple.
I'm icing down the bottles like you wouldn't believe.
Corks pop, the bub's on.
The night's young and you're mine, it's sparkle time.
Bring the cold Dom. Pink bubbles drawn, drink what you want.
Figure on and on, 'til the break of what?
Get the bill for what I'm drinking, load the cases in my truck.
I spend it like it don't mean nothing.
Blow it like it's supposed to be blown, you're about to be shown.
I boot, I rally, I never quit.
Dropping corks on the floor like I empty a clip.
Fat old Burgundy glass, that classy shit:
Created at SuppleWine LLC, Fremont, CA
Directed, Shot and Produced by Mike Supple and Matt John
Edited by Mike Supple
Mike Supple - Intro / Chorus / Verse 1 / Verse 2
Chris Watters - Chorus / Verse 3
Brian Michael - Chorus
Adam Goodliss - Backup Vocals
Matt John - Backup Vocals
Recorded and Mixed by
Bravo Bros. at Little Red Wagon Studios
Filmed on Location at Elemental LED
Lit entirely with environmentally friendly (and wine friendly) LED lights.
Cast (order of appearance)
1999 Dom Perignon Champagne
Monic Munoz, www.GoGoGorgeous.com
Rebecca Zarate, www.GoGoGorgeous.com
Karina Velasquez, www.GoGoGorgeous.com
Yeigi "AG" Melendez