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Top Ten Reasons Wine is Better than Beer
by Mike Supple
published: 14 Apr 2010 | Comments
Recent Gallup Polls have shown a general trend towards more wine consumption and less beer consumption in the United States over the last couple of decades. Based on these numbers (and personal experience), it seems that it's not just snobs who drink wine. With that in mind, I decided to do some research of my own and came up with these ten reasons behind the increasing US interest in wine:
- Beer breath sends people running faster than you can spit out, "Hi, my name is..."
- Bubbles fill you up fast. Of course, if you have no problem belching on a date, skip to #8.
- Wine bottles make better clubs for warding off assailants.
- Two words: Champagne Room. Ever been to a club with a Malted Barley Room?
- No "Turn Ons" list ever includes "an ability to navigate and order from a beer list."
- If the French can make it well, we can surely make it better.
- What's cooler: opening a beer with your teeth or a Champagne bottle with a sword?
- Cell phone cameras are unlikely to catch you in the midst of bitter wine face.
- They're called winos, not beeros. Shouldn't you trust somebody who drinks for a living?
And the number one reason that wine is better than beer:
- Size matters. Having "one more drink" before leaving for the debut of your cousin's Off-Broadway, one-man show entitled "How I Overcame Boredom While Spending 4 Months Alone in the Sahara" kills a lot more time when it's a 750ml bottle instead of a 12oz can.